Through this work, I’ve learned so much about patience. It is the key to successful caregiving, but it is also something I have been able to incorporate into my personal life, and my academic life. It may sound cheesy—but I genuinely derive joy from spending time with my clients.
Toyosi Agboola—Toyo—was not quite eighteen when she began working at Stay At Home Nursing. An undergraduate at Brock University in Economics and Mathematics, Toyo had newly arrived in Canada from Nigeria and was looking to find work to support her academic studies when a friend suggested that SAHN might be a good fit. It was an unexpected and somewhat surprising suggestion. “I was working in fast food,” Toyo explains. She had never considered employment as a caregiver but was instantly intrigued. “I thought, Why not? I’ve taken care of people before. This is something I can be good at.”
With caregiving, she soon realized, you are always giving a part of yourself: sometimes it is emotional, sometimes physical; sometimes it is both. The work could be challenging. But it could also be very rewarding. The experience of connecting with people, and supporting them when they are vulnerable, had an immediate and profound impact on her life. “I learned so much about patience,” Toyo says. “Patience is the key to successful caregiving, but it is also something I have been able to incorporate into my personal life and my academic life.” It is this patience, or internal balance, that gives Toyo wisdom beyond her years. “Friends joke that I speak as if I have fifty years of life stories —and that’s because I hang out with people who do have fifty years of life experience.”
“It may sound cheesy—but I genuinely derive joy from spending time with my clients,” she explains. “I love chatting and teasing and laughing. I love the ways in which my clients see me as unique: to them, I am the small girl, the girl from Nigerian, the girl with the accent.” The reliable and rewarding routines of caregiving along with her joy, and her aptitude, for the work has given her confidence that has translated into all areas of her life and has caused her to re-think her academic path. “I’ve added a minor in Management to my Maths degree,” she explains. “Caregiving work opened my mind to see that beyond every statistic is real a person. It’s not all just numbers, or data. It’s real people. I don’t know what the future holds but I’m interested in how my study of maths and finance can combine with my experience of caregiving. I can see myself working with this company for a long time.”
Ensuring that the safety of the work environment for PSW staff remains a top priority and that caregivers have adequate wages, resources, tools, and training to do their job at a high level are all areas where she can see the need for continued improvement. “But this is not really a job to do just because of the money,” Toyo explains. “You do it because it is who you are.” She describes the various roles she steps into during any given day. “Being a caregiver means being a mother, a sister, a neighbour, a friend. It means being a therapist, a nurse. Some days you are everything-in-one. You must enter someone’s home and be able to read the mood. Read the body language of your clients. Understand what any changes in their normal routine might mean to them. You have to do this almost instantly. This takes training, yes, but even more it takes good instincts.”
Toyo credits her upbringing in Nigeria in developing her innate, instinctual approach to caregiving. “Nigeria is not for the weak. You must have good instincts; you have to see beyond just what the eyes can see. And you have to remain calm and confident even when things don’t come easy. And…” she adds, “…there’s certain culture attitudes around caregiving. If you have grandchildren, they will take care of you. And if someone is your elder—even a stranger—you address them as a family member.” As a child Toyo helped to care for her grandmother as well as working in her mother’s business, learning early on not only the value of hard work but also the importance of a supportive community. On Sundays, Toyo and her mother would cook food and volunteer at a local orphanage. “My mother did an excellent job in teaching me that life isn’t always that glamourous. That when you see someone is in need you have to step up and help out.”
The core values that Toyo continues to develop through her work as a caregiver—a strong work ethic and a delight in connecting with, and helping, others—has helped her cultivate calmness in her own life and to appreciate the richness that comes with sharing this sense of internal equanimity. “I don’t know what it is exactly—but I do love giving. Giving of my emotional balance; giving of my confidence, or my happiness. I love making my clients laugh,” she says, smiling broadly. “I love stable routines, yes. I love the peace it brings.”
